Ferus leaned back against the cold metal wall of the cargo hold, eyes closed, mind straining to remain open. He knew that his master was unorthodox, that she had experienced things that most Jedi had not. He'd suspected that she wasn't celibate, but he'd never actually been confronted with any evidence before. And with Master Obi-Wan? He didn't seem the type. He was so serious and disciplined, and Ferus trusted him as much, if not more than his own master.
"Thought I'd find you here."
Ferus groaned inwardly. This was the last person he wanted to see at the moment. "Please... just don't say anything."
"Nothing at all?" Anakin stepped out of the doorway and stood in front of him, just watching him that way he always did. The way that usually meant he was up to something.
"Aren't you a little... freaked out? "
Ferus snorted. "About them. Our masters. Kissing, and doing Force knows what else when we're not around."
Anakin stared at him strangely. "It was just a kiss, Ferus. And it wasn't even a real kiss at that."
"It looked like it to me."
"Oh, and you're an expert?"
Ferus' eyes narrowed slightly. "Of course not. And you are?"
Anakin said nothing, but smiled slyly. His eyes lost their focus for a split second, and then refocused on Ferus with a strange intensity. It made Ferus feel distinctly uncomfortable. He swallowed, curiosity rising in him despite a gnawing sensation in his stomach.
Anakin smirked. "Well what?"
Ferus sighed dramatically. Anakin could be so difficult. He spoke carefully, hid his thoughts, and one never knew exactly what he was thinking or what he would do next. It irritated Ferus to no end.
"I suppose you're something of an expert on kissing, then."
"I'm an expert on a lot of things. Why are you so curious about me suddenly?"
"I'm not, I..." Ferus frowned. Why was he even having this conversation?
"I'll bet you've never been kissed."
"Yes, I have."
"Party games don't count."
Ferus frowned at that. "Well, neither have you, in that case."
"What makes you so sure?" Anakin took a step closer, too close for comfort, and placed his hands on the wall on either side of Ferus' head. "Maybe I've done lots of things that you've only dreamed about, that you can't even imagine."
Ferus pressed his back against the wall, trying to make himself as flat as possible. Anakin's blue eyes were dark suddenly, sparkling with something he couldn't identify. The younger padawan pressed closer still, and the tips of their noses brushed together.
"I'll bet you've never had a real kiss," Anakin whispered. "The kind you still feel days later when you think about it. The kind that leaves the taste of the other person on your tongue. The kind that gets you hard so fast you can't stop it."
Ferus could feel warm breath against his lips and the heat of the other boy's body mingling with his own -- a stark contrast to the cold steel against his back. Anakin was so close he was nearly a blur. Then, quite strangely, he licked his lips. Ferus nearly whimpered at that, and could think of nothing that would be better than to pull Anakin's body against him and just... shut him up, keep his mouth occupied for a while. He strained his head forward enough to brush his lips against the other boy's just slightly.
Anakin quickly stepped away from him, expression unreadable. "I thought not." He started to head for the open door. "Let me know if you would like a demonstration sometime." With a small smile, he left the room.
Ferus closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened to him.
The transport had left them on the landing pad, as the pilot needed to make it to B'ral in two days' time. Their hosts had not been there to meet them. It was hot and dusty, and there was no shade on the landing pad where they waited.
After an hour, Anakin wanted to scream. He was sweaty, uncomfortable, and extremely annoyed. He could handle the physical discomfort, but being made to wait like this was unbearable. Didn't these people have any respect for the Jedi at all?
Obi-Wan was typically serene, waiting patiently, hardly perspiring at all. He was standing comfortably, facing the city. It felt to Anakin like he was meditating. Ferus was kneeling quietly, not quite meditating, but relaxed, waiting patiently. Anakin watched him for a moment, thinking that he looked a lot like Obi-Wan in that pose. Ferus caught his eyes and then looked quickly away. Anakin clenched his jaw. Ferus hadn't said two words to him since the encounter in the cargo hold the night before.
Not that he really cared what Ferus thought of him, but he was worried that he'd crossed a line he shouldn't have. He'd been teasing the older padawan, and when Ferus had tried to kiss him, he'd actually been surprised. It was only his pride that had enabled him to pull away. Until the moment he realized Ferus might actually be interested, it had been a game, an attempt to rile the older boy a bit. He'd half expected Ferus to hit him -- but to kiss him? That was the last thing he'd expected.
He watched the other boy more overtly now, glad for the distraction from the heat and the wait. Ferus was actually quite attractive, now that he thought about it. Not really his type, but cute enough. Anakin had a little experience with males, and though he generally preferred females, the thought of having sex with Ferus wasn't entirely unappealing. Actually, it was getting more appealing by the minute. He didn't have any other prospects and his right hand hadn't been quite enough lately. He wanted to bury himself in someone else, feel the skin and heat of another pressed against him, feel someone's arms around him. He wanted to feel wanted, just for a little while.
Though he knew that it was strongly encouraged, he couldn't fathom the Order's tendency towards celibacy. He'd grown up in a seedy space port, and had seen more sexual acts in his first nine years than his master likely had in his entire life. Sex had been another part of life, one of many comforts in which adults took part, like eating, or drinking, or sleeping, or playing sabbacc. It was something he'd taken for granted he would engage in when he was old enough.
At first, he'd thought he could be celibate. It didn't seem like such a big sacrifice, after all. And then, about two years ago, it was suddenly all he could think about. Obi-Wan had talked to him about his emerging sexuality, and had explained that most Jedi chose celibacy rather than risk forming attachments.
He'd never asked what his master had chosen. If there had been any lovers in the last seven years, Obi-Wan had been amazingly discreet. Anakin had been discreet as well. Those first few nights he went out to sample Coruscant's famous sex clubs, he'd slipped out very late, testing his bond with his master carefully to be certain that the man was sound asleep. Then he'd fortified his own shields -- heavily.
He was underage, even for Coruscant, but he was also quite tall for a human male, and he usually didn't get looked at twice. When anyone looked too closely at him, it was easy enough to use a touch of the Force to get them to look the other way. He knew he shouldn't do that either, but, he rationalized, he wasn't supposed to be in such a place anyway. What difference would one more little infraction make at that point?
The first encounter had been with a human girl who looked to be around twenty. She had long dark hair and dark eyes, and had reminded him intensely of Padme. In fact, he pretended she was Padme as she knelt before him, taking his cock into her mouth and bringing him off with practiced ease. He remembered threading his fingers through her long dark hair and biting his cheek to stop himself from calling out that name when he came.
The next night, he found himself dancing with a dark-skinned boy who couldn't have been much older than him. He'd had several strong drinks by that time and was dancing with a group of people, when suddenly there was a warm, sweaty, definitely male body pressed against him from behind. He hadn't considered sex with males before, but it had seemed like a good opportunity to try it out. The other boy had led him to the shadows of the back room, and he'd half-expected another hasty blow job. Instead, he was kissed and touched until his knees gave out beneath him, and then suddenly he was on his hands and knees, with something hard pushing into him.
His first thought, before he even felt the pain, had been Do I want to do this? Should I tell him to stop? Then the pain -- burning pain -- overtook him, and he'd screamed and lurched forward. The boy, surprisingly strong, had held him tight and whispered soothing words into his ear, apologizing quietly, begging him to be patient, saying he hadn't known this was his first time. Something in Anakin told him to be patient, to wait it out, and so he did. After a moment, the pain subsided as his body accommodated the intrusion, and the boy started to move.
And it felt unbelievably good. He came harder than he ever had, almost sobbing from pleasure, clinging desperately to the edges of his shields lest his master feel him.
He'd been so fucking sore the next day. Obi-Wan had never asked why he was moving so slowly, thank the Force. Though he had enjoyed it, the physical trauma had made him hesitant to bottom again.
"Enough." Siri's voice fairly wrenched him out of the intense memory. She was staring at Obi-Wan's back. "Something has gone wrong. Waiting here any longer is futile."
Obi-Wan turned to face her. Anakin was surprised by the wave of irritation he felt rolling off of the man, though his demeanor appeared perfectly serene. "What do you suggest, then?"
She gestured in the direction of the city center. "We should hire a transport and go to the Republic embassy. From there we can send a message to the Krisilian officials, suggesting that perhaps our services here are not required after all."
Anakin watched Obi-Wan carefully. The man's face remained calm, but Anakin could feel his irritation grow and then subside as it was released into the Force. Anakin sighed. His master made that look so easy. He wondered if he would ever be able to conquer his emotions quite like that.
After a long moment, Obi-Wan nodded. "I agree. Remaining here any longer is pointless."
Siri looked surprised for a split second before regaining her composure, as if she'd been bracing herself for an argument. "Very well then." She smiled very slightly before turning and walking off of the landing pad. The three men followed.