...:::::...--**
"Jim?"
Jim scrubbed at his face and turned away. He didn't want to take his anger out on Bones, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep himself calm. They'd tried everything, twice. He was out of ideas.
"Will you just sit still for a second? You're on the verge of hypothermia and--"
"What the fuck does it matter now? We're going to die anyway." He hadn't meant it to sound quite so sharp. But it was the truth.
Bones didn't even flinch. "This is the only thing I can do to help us, Jim. Will you just fucking let me do it? So I won't go crazy?"
Jim gritted his teeth and turned back to face him, opening his arms. "Fine."
Bones scanned him, his eyes glued to the screen of the tricorder. His browns furrowed. "Your core body temperature has dropped almost two degrees in the last hour."
"Hypothermia, eh? I hear it's not a bad way to die, as deaths go. Not the heroic leap into an explosion I'd always imagined, but--"
"You're shivering."
"No shit. So are you."
Bones raised an eyebrow. "Want to cuddle again?"
Jim tried to smirk, but it came out as more of a grimace. "Oh, Bones. I didn't know you cared."
"Fuck you, of course I care." Bones rummaged through their meager emergency supplies for the thermal blanket. "This thing is too damn small."
Bones settled on the floor next to him and covered them both with the blanket. Jim leaned into his shoulder and sighed. The sudden warmth did feel good. They sat in silence for a long time, until Jim couldn't stand it anymore.
"Maybe I should try to re-rig the transponder again."
"And draw even more power from the battery? The one we're using to keep the life support systems going?"
"It would be worth it if it worked."
"And if it doesn't?" The defeat in Bones' voice made Jim cringe.
"Then it just speeds up the inevitable." He turned to look up at Bones. It had been a while since he'd seen him looking this disheveled. He broke into a grin just as Bones turned to look at him.
"What?"
"You haven't looked this bad since the first day I met you on the shuttle to the Academy."
Bones snorted. "You don't look so pretty yourself, you know."
"Yeah, well. Four days floating in a dead shuttle with no facilities will do that to a person." His smile faded and he let his head lean against Bones' shoulder. "Life support only has another 12 hours."
He felt Bones stiffen beside him. "When were you going to tell me that?"
"I just did."
"Fuck." They were silent again for several minutes. "Jim… God, I never thought I'd have to say this. You've always been a good friend to me. My best friend."
Jim forced a smile. "Are you going to get sappy on me?"
"Yeah, I am, so shut the fuck up and let me do it." He sighed and was quiet for a moment before continuing. "I really mean it, though. I came to Starfleet when I had nothing left, and you were the first person who was genuinely nice to me. I couldn't have done half the things I've done if not for you. I probably would've ended up face-down in a gutter before I even got commissioned."
"That's not true, Bones. You were meant for Starfleet. You're a great officer." He paused. "And a great friend. I wasn't in all that great shape either, back then. I could say the same." And more. He felt a wave of sadness pass over him, sadness at what had been, what might have been.
Fuck this. Jim Kirk was not going down without a fight.
He slid out from under the blanket and crossed to the control panel. Bones sighed, but said nothing, didn't try to stop him. Warming up had helped clear his mind, he realized. He stared down at the circuit board for the transponder again, following the lines of the circuits with his eyes, running through all the possibilities again. He'd tried everything he could think of already, but there had to be a solution. He'd never believed in no-win scenarios and he wasn't going to start now.
"Jim, get back under here. I'm cold. And lonely."
"You could jerk off, you know." He smiled as the words left his lips, his eyes still glued on the circuit board.
"You think I haven't already?"
Jim resisted the urge to turn and look at him. "What, when I was asleep?"
"Of course. I had no desire to humiliate myself even further by letting you watch."
"I like to watch," Jim said, and then he saw it -- a tiny crack in one of the plates, something he hadn't seen before. His heart leapt in his chest as the solution flooded his mind. "I think I've got something here, Bones."
Ten minutes later they were both huddled over the circuit board. Jim sat back and rubbed at the stubble on his chin absently. "That's got to do it. But we only have one shot at this."
Bones stared down at the PADD in his hands, his eyes narrowed. "I've run the numbers three times. We only have enough power for a single burst of the signal, and that will leave us with less than an hour for life support." He looked up. "You said you wanted to go out with a bang."
Jim's eyes met his. "This is our only chance. If there's a Federation ship within five light years, and if anyone happens to be listening to this particular frequency, they'll have enough information to find us."
"In an hour?" Bones was clearly trying to keep the desperation out of his tone. "That's all we've got."
"What choice do we have?"
They stared at each other for a long moment and Jim didn't stop himself from letting everything show in his eyes, in his face. Bones' expression softened, and he nodded.
"All right, Captain."
Jim forced a grim smile. "Ready, Doctor?"
For something that used up so much energy, he thought they ought to have felt the pulse of signal from the transponder, but they didn't. In a split second they'd lost most of their power. A warning light appeared on the life support control panel. They both ignored it.
"And now we wait," Bones said. He pulled the blanket around him and held out an arm in invitation. Jim slid to sit next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. It was an intimate gesture, too intimate for friends, really -- but such boundaries hardly mattered any more.
They were silent for a long time, waiting, listening. Nothing happened. No one was coming.
At last the warning light on the life support panel started blinking and Jim felt a chill run down his spine.
"That's it, then," Bones said. "We're out of time." He sounded completely defeated.
"How long do we have before we start to asphyxiate?"
"Fifteen minutes at the most."
Jim sighed. "I don't know about you, but I'm going out on a high note." He unfastened the fly on his pants.
"You've got to be shitting me," Bones said, turning to stare as Jim pulled his limp dick out of his pants. "We're about to die and you're going to jerk off?"
"Yep," Jim said, grinning at him. "Care to join me?" He stroked himself slowly, trying to think of anything besides the fact that they were about to die.
"If you can get it up, I'll be seriously impressed."
"Is that a challenge?" Jim stroked harder, but nothing happened. He was still soft and panic started to flood him. He'd always been able to count on his dick, always. How could it fail him now? "Shit, come on," he said, closing his eyes.
"Oh, fuck it," Bones said, and then there was another hand on his dick, pushing his fingers away. "Let me do this for you, Jim. If we're gonna die anyway…" He paused and Jim turned to look at him. "I might as well admit that I've always kind of wanted to…" He didn't finish the sentence as he started stroking.
Jim's cock sprang to life under those fingers. "You have?" He bit his lip to keep himself from moaning like an idiot.
"I have," Bones said, a smile curling at the corners of his lips.
"I wish you'd said something sooner. We could've done this a long time ago."
"I know. I'm an idiot." And then Bones kissed him and Jim didn't stop himself from moaning this time. Their faces were rough and they were both filthy, but it didn't matter. Kissing Bones was a strange revelation, something he'd always wanted to do, though he hadn't realized it before. He felt something akin to relief that he hadn't missed this entirely.
The hand on his cock was stroking slowly, as if trying to draw it out as long as possible. Jim fumbled at the fastenings of Bones' pants and finally settled on rubbing his cock through the fabric, not wanting to waste a second.
Bones moaned into his mouth, and he paused his stroking long enough to unfasten his own pants. "Touch me, oh, fuck yeah…"
Jim stroked and pulled Bones down onto the floor with him. They lay on their sides facing each other, panting and kissing with open mouths and Jim realized he hadn't been this turned on in a long, long time.
"God Bones, this is so fucking hot," he whispered against parted lips. The hand on his cock twisted on the upstroke, and he gasped. "That how you do it to yourself?"
"I think about you when I jerk off," Bones said, his breath hot against Jim's cheek. "I think about what it would be like to have my hands on you, to get my mouth on your cock."
Jim pulled out of the kiss and pushed down hard on Bones' shoulders. "Do it, then. Suck me."
Bones swallowed his cock with a moan, and Jim swore. There were stars in his field of vision, and he had no idea if it was from pleasure or a sign that the end was near. It didn't matter now.
"This is how I want to die, Bones. Coming into your mouth, oh god--" His orgasm hit him out of nowhere and he cried out, shocked at the intensity of it. Bones was still sucking, still using his tongue and his lips as Jim's cock emptied into him.
It was his last orgasm. He pushed the thought away and hauled Bones up with a fistful of shirt.
"My turn." He dove for Bones' cock and tried to work fast. For all he knew they had just minutes left, and he'd be damned if Bones didn't have the orgasm of his life before he died.
"Oh fuck, Jim, oh fuck ohfuckohfuck..." Bones clenched Jim's head in his hands and fucked his mouth, and it was rough and hot and Jim fucking loved it. Fuck, why hadn't they done this before? They could have been lovers all these years -- they'd wasted so much time.
Jim tried his best to keep his teeth out of the way as Bones pumped into his mouth. He wriggled the flat of his tongue against any skin he could and he sucked and god he'd forgotten how much he liked sucking cock. He was going to miss this so much.
"Oh shit I'm--" was all the warning he had, and he lunged forward as Bones came, taking his cock in as far as he could, ignoring his own gag reflex and swallowing. He nearly choked and was coughing when he pulled off, but it was worth it.
"Fucking hell, Jim." Bones grinned at him, looking even more disheveled than before. "God, your mouth… I would have loved to fuck you."
"I would have bottomed for you. In a heartbeat." He could feel the air getting thick now. They didn't have much longer.
"I won't get it up again, not after that." Bones stared at him, and the emotion in his eyes was pure and raw. "Jim…"
"No more talking. Just kiss me." They pressed their bodies together, on their knees, arms wrapped around each other, and just kissed. Jim felt light-headed, sleepy, but he didn't feel cold anymore. He closed his eyes.
There was a strange light in his field of vision and his skin tingled, and Bones clenched him even tighter.
And then Jim felt the familiar sensation of disintegration and opened his eyes. A second later, the air whooshed around them, fresh and warmed. The lights were bright and they were still wrapped around each other, mouths still pressed together, pants pushed down past their hips.
On the transporter pad of the Enterprise.
They broke the kiss and stared at each other in disbelief. There was the sound of a throat clearing, and they turned to see no fewer than a dozen of their fellow crew members staring at them, open-mouthed.
Jim fastened his pants as quickly as he could and climbed to his feet. "Well done, Scotty. I take it you received our last transmission?" He held a hand down to Bones, who'd managed to redress and was flushing bright red.
"Yes, Captain," Scotty said, looking equally embarrassed.
Spock stepped forward, cheeks tinted a rather deep shade of green. "Welcome back, Jim… Doctor."
"Medical Bay," Bones managed as he stepped off the transporter pad. "We'll just... head right there. Yeah."
Jim clapped Spock on the shoulder as they walked past, aware that every eye in the room was still glued to him. He flashed a trademark Jim Kirk grin. "I'll hold a debriefing as soon as I'm cleared for duty. It's good to be back, everyone."
No one moved a muscle as they left the transporter room. The door slid shut behind them and they walked down the corridor side by side. Neither of them spoke for a moment. Jim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Un-fucking-believable.
"Jim--" Bones started, and Jim stopped him with a hand on his arm. He pulled him into a quick kiss and shot him a stern look.
"I meant every word I said back there, Bones. So don't you dare take any of it back now. Not when we've got another chance."
Bones tried to roll his eyes, but it was incongruous with the smile on his lips. "I was just going to say that Sick Bay is the other way."
"I know that. But my quarters are this way." Jim grasped him by the elbow and pulled. "And that's an order, Doctor McCoy."
Bones sighed, but he didn't resist. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"
Jim just grinned.
~fin~