Authors: Emma Grant, Jedi Rita, Elocin Oco, and Ms Swift
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Senate investigation into the Gollin 3 mission begins....
Warnings: This episode describes acts of non-con and chan sex within the context of the hearing.
Disclaimer: Most of these characters belong to other people. Their creators probably wouldn't recognize our versions of them anyway...
Feedback: Sure!
Note: This is the finale to season 2, written by the entire QAJ team. Thanks to all for reading this season and to Helens for her contributions to the season.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4
(Bail)
My legs feel weak as I follow the other senators out of the chamber. I look back over my shoulder. The Jedi are still sitting there, looking stunned. I want to turn back and offer condolences, but any personal contact with those testifying would be improper now. I can't help but feel like all of this is spinning out of control. I don't know what, if any, good my presence on this committee is doing.
I remember Keli well: young, cute, and boldly flirtatious. He hit on me the first time I ever met him, despite the fact that Ben was standing right beside me. It shocked me at the time, but... I understand them now. At least, more than most beings do.
T'nell nods to me as he passes, hurrying towards the private chamber assigned to the Jedi. I doubt he knows about Keli yet, and it isn't my place to tell him. Still...
"T'nell!" I call, breaking away from the other senators. He stops and turns to face me, and I see something flicker across his face before the Jedi mask resumes its place. I beckon him closer. "Please," I whisper, "tell Obi-Wan I'm sorry, and that I'll speak to him soon." Mallix is looking at me, an impatient glower on his face. "When I can."
T'nell nods, casting a wary glance at Mallix.
"Tell him, please," I reiterate.
"Sure," he replies, offering me a small smile. It seems forced, and something twists in my gut as he scurries off to join the other Jedi. I feel odd, detached -- as if I'm watching this from outside myself.
This hearing is alienating me from Ben, and I curse that I ever agreed to take part. Not that I had much choice in the matter.
"Senator Organa." I turn to the harsh voice. "Come," Mallix says. "We're waiting."
I follow reluctantly. This isn't where I want to be.
I realize I'm twirling a lock of my hair around a finger again, and I force my hands into my lap instead. I grew my hair long for Ben, and now...
The holocube on my desk shows the same scene over and over: Ben smiling coyly over his shoulder, then turning and grinning. He winks and blows me a kiss, and then it starts again. I've been watching it for the last half hour, ever since Qui-Gon told me to stop comming today, that Ben wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.
A gentle knock at the door rouses me from my thoughts. Larian pokes her head through the door. My hard-working assistant looks as tired as I do: dark strands of hair are pulled out of the normally neat style she wears, dark circles have formed under her eyes, and her clothes are so rumpled I imagine she might have slept in them. Under her desk. "Senator Palpatine is here to see you," she says.
I blink in surprise. "He is? Was I expecting him?"
She shakes her head. "He was just in the area, he says, and wondered if he could have a word."
"I... Sure. Why not?" I run my hands through my hair in an attempt to tame it, and stand. I'm looking no better than Larian, if truth be told. My robes are rumpled, I've chewed my nails past the point of propriety, and I look like I haven't slept in days -- a fine state in which to meet with anyone important.
Palpatine glides through the doorway, smiling warmly at me, and relief washes through me at the sight of him. Everything will be fine as long as he's on my side. He won't let things spin out of control.
He extends a hand and clasps my shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "You did well today, son. Your father would have been..." He pauses, and a wry grin spreads across his wizened face. "Well, perhaps proud isn't quite the right word."
I can't help but smirk in response. "No, he would have been mortified to see me defending the rights of Jedi, I'm certain. I'm thankful these hearings are closed, so he'll never see any of this." My father doesn't need more reasons to believe the Jedi are immoral and corrupt.
"If Mallix has his way, those tapes will be made public," Palpatine sighs, shaking his head. "He believes the public has a right to know what the Jedi Order does to their children once they give them over to their care."
"You won't let that happen, will you?" I ask, trying to keep panic out of my tone. "I can't imagine anything worse for the individuals involved."
"I will do my best," he replies, settling into a chair. "I fear our colleague is missing the point of these hearings. We started this to protect Jedi padawans, not to exploit them for political gain."
I close my eyes and lean back against my desk. "What can I do, Senator? I'll do anything I can to help, anything at all. I feel so powerless sitting up there on the dais. Nothing I say seems to matter, not to Mallix and his... cronies."
Palpatine sighs and I open my eyes. He's holding my holocube in his hand, watching the image of Ben flicker above it. I tense for a moment -- I didn't even see him pick it up.
He notices my expression and smiles. "Padawan Kenobi is a charming young man. And a promising Jedi, I hear."
"Yes," I reply, trying not to fidget.
"You are doing the right thing, Bail," he continues, fixing me with his gaze. "He needs you up there. You understand the perspective of the younger Jedi more than most."
I nod, blowing out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I know these things are true, but it helps to hear someone else say them. Someone who doesn't judge me for my relationship with Ben.
Palpatine studies the image in his palm. "I understand you were reluctant to accept this assignment."
I don't reply, instead watching the back of Ben's head in the holocube image. Palpatine looks up at me again. I try to look away, but find I can't.
"Senator Mallix hinted that he had to work very hard to persuade you to be on the committee."
"Persuade ?" I repeat. "Is that the term he used?"
Palpatine's grey eyes are sympathetic, and his expression saddens. "Is he using your relationship with Kenobi against you?"
I clench my jaw and stare at the floor between us. I haven't told anyone about that; not even Ben.
"I feared as much." Palpatine places the holocube in my hand. His touch is soothing, and I find myself wanting to look up at him again. "You are young and idealistic, Bail. I wish I could tell you this isn't the way things are done, but it wouldn't be fair of me. Politics is a game, and it takes some time to learn the rules."
"I came here because I thought I could make a difference," I tell him. "And despite what happened today, I still believe I can. I want to learn. I'll do whatever it takes to fight men like him who abuse their power for personal gain." Part of me hears the words and winces at how naïve and idealistic I sound, but Palpatine will understand. He was once like me, I'm certain.
He regards me for a moment. "I believe you will succeed, Bail. Perhaps if the two of us stand firmly together, we can protect these padawans from Mallix, and steer this committee back towards its original purpose."
I extend my hand, and he takes it. "I do stand with you, Senator. I'll follow your leadership, and do whatever is necessary." To help Ben , I finish in my mind.
Palpatine's smile returns. "I know you will, my boy. I'm counting on it."
I leave the Senate building late and alone, having spent some time looking over the transcripts of the day's events. I'm still going over events in my head, thinking about Ben's face as he watched himself on that screen. I sigh. This hearing is just--
"Bail."
I nearly jump out of my skin as a figure emerges from the shadows and pauses, framed by the light shining down from the terrace above.
"Ben!" I exclaim. "I thought you didn't want to see me." I glance around -- we really shouldn't be seen together, but I'm too relieved to care at the moment.
"I know." He folds his arms and looks away. "I didn't want to face you again after knowing you'd seen..." He pauses and clenches his jaw. The light of a passing hovercar illuminates his face briefly. "Qui-Gon thought I needed to tell you how I felt."
I nod. "And how is that?"
He snorts. "Angry. Humiliated. Betrayed." His gaze turns to me, finally. "I thought you said you could help us by being on that committee. How could you let them show the video like that, in front of everyone?"
I step towards him, but stop just short of touching him. "I'm sorry. I had no idea Mallix was planning to do that." From the expression on his face, I'd guess he isn't sure if he believes me. "I did try to stop them, but... Mallix is the chair. It was out of my hands."
"You could have called off the hearings. Stormed out in protest. Made them listen to you." He almost sounds like a petulant child -- understandable considering what he's been through.
"Ben, please... It doesn't work that way and you know it." Sometimes his naïveté about politics is charming, and sometimes it's not. "If Mallix won't even listen to Senator Palpatine, why would he listen to me?"
"Maybe you should resign from the committee, then." Ben's eyes are hard, and that stubborn set to his jaw is all too familiar.
"And what would that accomplish? Even more publicity, which wouldn't help the situation." I run a hand through my now-mangled hair. "And I'd no longer be able to advocate for you and Siri and Bruck."
"Fat lot of good it's done so far," he snorts.
I grit my teeth in frustration, mirroring his stance. "It would be far worse if I wasn't there, you know." Of course, I'm not certain that's true. "I think things will be different tomorrow," I offer, weakly. I don't want to tell him about my alliance with Palpatine out here in the open. It would be bad enough if anyone saw us together, but if they overheard that particular conversation, I'd have to answer to the Ethics Subcommittee.
He looks up again, eyes full of scorn. "Why would a committee supposedly concerned with the welfare of Jedi padawans do that to us?"
"Fuck if I know," I snort, shaking my head. I hate this. I wish I could stop it all, before it destroys everything Ben and I have together.
Of course, I'm not at all certain what exactly we have.
Ben responds with a quizzical frown. I hold out my hand. "There's more I want to tell you, but... Can we talk about this somewhere more private?"
His expression becomes skeptical. "Like your apartment? I don't think that's a good idea."
"No, that's not what I meant. Just somewhere I can speak freely, like my office. It's secure."
He exhales and studies the ground in font of him. "I can't really stay. I need to get some sleep."
He doesn't take my hand, and I realize he's saying "no". I nod my head and stuff my hands into the pockets of my robe.
He scrapes his boot on the duracrete, biting his lip. "We've heard nothing more about Keli and his master. I don't suppose you know anything?"
"No, I don't. I got that news at the same time you did."
"You're joking," he gapes. I shake my head, and he looks a bit disgusted. "Why are you on this committee, Bail? They're not exactly keeping you informed, and they don't listen when you object to their methods."
I swallow and look away. I've also been wondering why Mallix wanted me on the committee so badly. Was it just to force me to participate in the skewering of my friend? Was it to put me in my place after I voted against his Trade Federation Act?
Ben seems to sense my discomfort and doesn't push the issue. He stares into the darkness for a moment, silent and contemplative. "So they think another padawan is dead under questionable circumstances? That will really fuel their fire." He purses his lips, as if trying to choose his words carefully. "There's something wrong here, Bail. I can feel it."
"It's just politics, Ben," I sigh, reaching out to take his hand. To my surprise he lets me. I squeeze his hand, taking immense comfort from this measure of affection from him. "It's just the way the game is played," I continue, Palpatine's words echoing through my mind. "And I'm going to learn how to play it, I promise. I'm already working on that. Things will be different tomorrow. You'll see."
I pull him into an embrace and he snakes his arms around me, pressing his forehead against my shoulder. As I hold him in my arms, all I can think of is his face in that video. Hurt, vulnerable, lost. I wish I'd never seen it, but it's too late. I can't forget it.
We hear the sound of the door opening and awkwardly pull apart. The junior senator from Blalisk emerges from the building, nearly tripping over his large webbed feet as he studies his datapad. He emits a small squeal -- a Blalaskian gesture indicating he's seen and recognized us -- and nods his head, four red eyes scanning Ben and me curiously.
"Senator Organa," he trills in his bird-like voice, "I see I'm not the only one working late tonight. I trust you and your fiancée will still be attending the dinner in honor of the delegation from Vroufyea tonight?"
I'd forgotten about that reception, with this hearing going on. I'd also forgotten to invite Padme. Padme--
I stiffen and shoot a glance at Ben, immediately feeling guilty about this mention of her in front of him. His eyes have widened, and he looks as if he's trying not to smile. I turn my attention back to the Blaliskian senator. "Only me, I'm afraid. Twenty-second hour, correct?"
He nods again, then extends a feather-covered limb to signal his departure. He heads for the speeder bay, no doubt looking forward to breaking the air-speed limits in that sporty flier of his. Some days, it really pays to be a senator.
Ben slips his arm through mine, smirking. "Blalaskians don't have a word for lover, do they? My master and I were on a mission on Blalask a few years ago, and I found out after the fact that the name they'd called me for three weeks meant 'underage bed slave'."
I laugh, a bit horrified at the implication, but relieved that he doesn't seem angry. We've never talked about Padme, though I assume he knows about her. It's a very typical Alderaani tradition, and my family is nothing if not traditional.
Ben kisses me on the cheek, catching me by surprise. "I'm flattered that someone thinks I'd be a good catch for a senator, though."
It takes a few seconds for his words to sink in. Oh, no.
My stomach twists -- it seems his good humor is born of misunderstanding. This must be the worse possible circumstance under which to tell him the truth.
I turn to face him, steeling myself. "Ben... He wasn't referring to you," I say.
Ben's expression is carefully blank. "Sorry?"
"Ben," I begin, stepping closer to him. Before I can say the words, I see the comprehension begin to spread across his face. "You have to understand... It's a custom. A marriage of convenience, a political alliance, that's all."
He laughs, and then his face falls. "You're engaged to be married?" I nod, taking both his hands in mine. He pulls away, not looking at me. "When did this happen?"
"When I was twenty," I reply, trying to exude calm. I should have made a point of bringing this up earlier, but there's nothing for it now. "Marriages are usually arranged at sixteen, but I'd kept refusing, and my father finally gave me an ultimatum."
Ben blinks and looks up at me again, a flurry of emotion clouding his face. "So when are you...?"
"In three years, when she turns twenty. I'm her guardian, of sorts, in the meantime."
"She's here, on Coruscant?" Ben looks a little sick. I'm sure I do as well.
"Oh fuck," I mumble, pressing a palm to my forehead. "Ben, I thought... I thought you knew. Qui-Gon met her at a reception, while you were away, and I assumed--"
"Qui knows?" Ben makes a sound like a strangled laugh, and backs away. "Force. Shit." He turns away, as if he's going to leave, but turns back again. "Who is she?"
"Her name is Padme Naberrie. You've seen her at Rising. She's Palpatine's intern this session, and she's been at the hearings--"
"Errie ?" he spits, incredulous. "You're going to marry her ?"
I nod, uncertain what I can say that won't make this worse.
"But she's... a party girl!" he exclaims. "She's fucked around more than I have since she got here. She'd been with half the padawans I know!"
"Oh, this is rich ," I snort, feeling my face color with irritation. " You calling someone a slut?"
"Oh, fuck you," he sneers, stepping closer to me.
"Is that an insult or an invitation?" I retort. "With you, one can never be certain."
His eyes flash with a dark anger. It makes me shiver. He's never looked at me like this before, and I know what he's capable of.
His tone is measured when he speaks. "I simply find it ironic that your father doesn't approve of you being with someone like me, but she's perfectly appropriate."
"She was twelve when we were engaged," I hiss, trying not to show my fear of him. "She was hardly making her way through the padawan ranks then, now was she?"
He shakes his head and backs away from me, closing his arms over his chest.
"Look, you're a diplomat." I continue. "You must know what marriage is like on Alderaan. Just because I'm married to her doesn't mean she and I won't have lovers. Marriage isn't about sex or love." He still doesn't look at me. If he really didn't know this before... My heart sinks even lower. "I'm sorry," I groan, stepping forward. "Please don't--"
"Don't what ? Be angry? Hurt?" He shakes his head at me, incredulous. "What did you expect? I thought we were friends , Bail -- more than friends. I didn't think we kept things like this from each other."
"I thought you knew already," I mumble, but it sounds weak even to my ears. I press my palms against my face. A tense silence stretches out between us.
"Does she know about me?" he asks at last, his voice very small.
"Yes," I reply. "She knows I'm in love with you, and she's happy for me. For us."
He makes a sound like a laugh and starts to speak, but stops himself.
"Ben--"
He holds up both hands and shakes his head. "Bail, just... don't, all right? I can't... I need some time on this one."
I nod, but he doesn't see. He turns and walks away without another word.
The night is suddenly heavy on my shoulders.
Senator Mallix frowns at his datapad. "Padawan Chun, are you saying that you went into this arrangement willingly ?"
The boy sitting at the table below looks nothing like Ben, but his poise and tone of voice are identical: measured, serene, and unflappable.
"In a manner of speaking, yes." The corners of Chun's lips quirk up in an almost-smile before he regains control. "It was necessary. I tried to warn Padawan Kenobi that he had walked into a trap, but it was too late. Our best chance of survival at that point was to cooperate."
I glance at Ben, who's now seated beside his master in the observation area at the side of the chamber. He's watching the testimony, but has yet to show a reaction to anything that's been said.
"And you claim the treatment you were ordered to give Padawan Kenobi was far less severe that what you had endured in the past?
Chun nods, and his eyes flick up to the vid screen, on which selected images from the horrific scene are being looped continuously. He swallows and looks at his hands.
"Describe to us some of the abuses you suffered while doing your duty as a Jedi," Mallix says.
"Senator, I object to that language," I snap, casting as sharp a glance as I can muster. Mallix returns it.
"Senator Organa has a point," Palpatine interjects, voice dripping with calm. "The Jedi Order is not on trial, after all."
Mallix narrows his eyes at Palpatine, but nods. "Very well. I'll rephrase the question. Padawan Chun, please describe some of the abuse you suffered during your enslavement."
Chun seems uncomfortable and glances at Palpatine. Palpatine nods in response, as if reassuring him.
"I don't know where to begin," Chun says, looking down. I'd been under the impression that he was cooperating with this investigation, but he seems uncomfortable now. "Over four months, I was forced to have intimate relations with more than one hundred beings of various species. Some were... differently proportioned from humanoids." He purses his lips and pauses. I wonder if he understood this was what his testimony would be like. "Some were fond of beatings and humiliation. Others..." He stops again and looks at Senator Mallix. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm not certain if I'm answering your question."
"You're doing fine, son," Mallix assures him. "Please continue."
Chun nods and stares at the table in front of him. "The worst day, I think, was... There was a little girl, a Twi'Lek. Maybe four or five years standard. They wanted me to... I refused, and they threatened to..." He pauses and closes his eyes. "They said they'd castrate me if I didn't. And they'd actually cut into one of my testicles before she..."
The room is utterly silent, waiting for him to continue. I risk a glance at Ben, and see he's white as a sheet. He reaches for his master's hand and the man entwines his fingers with Ben's.
Chun seems frozen to the spot, as if lost in the horrible memory. "I tried not to cry out, but... the girl was crying, and she ran to me and threw herself on me, and begged me to..." He takes a shaky breath and looks up at Mallix.
"Go on," Mallix says.
I turn to stare at him, incredulous. "Senator, I believe we've heard enough to piece together his story," I mutter.
"It is vital we hear the complete truth," Mallix replies, "no matter how horrific."
"There was a lot of blood," Chun says, voice nearly choking. "I don't know if it was mine or hers. I had to use the Force to..." He stops then, trembling.
"Enough," I hiss at Malllix. Mallix glances at Palpatine, who nods, an expression of dire sorrow on his face.
"We applaud your bravery, Padawan," Mallix continues. "But I believe we must all wonder where your master was during this time."
Chun's eyes snap up. "He was working to secure my release."
"Was he?" Mallix asks. Chun's eyes narrow.
"Perhaps a change of subject?" Senator Bahr suggests. "Padawan Chun, it is our understanding that this was not the first time you were forced to pose as a sex slave."
Chun's mouth opens, but he makes no sound. He looks down at the table, and when he looks up again, his expression has changed. "No," he replies. "It wasn't."
"And how old were you the first time?" Bahr inquires.
"Fourteen standard," Chun replies, voice flat.
"And your first sexual encounter was under these circumstances?"
"No," Chun says. "My master would not have let that happen. He took me himself, before the slavers had a chance to do so."
Senators Bahr and Mallix gasp, and it's all I can do not to react to that revelation myself. Chun glances at each of us in turn, uncertain what he's said to inspire this sort of response.
"Padawan Chun, I want to be certain we are clear on this issue," Mallix states, glancing down at his datapad before fixing Chun with his gaze once more. "You are telling us that your Master was your first lover?"
"I was posing as his slave," Chun says. "It was either that or give me to someone else, so he took me himself."
I stare down at the Malastarian wood of the table before me, shocked and horrified. His Master ?
Bahr clears his throat. "Padawan, forgive the repetitive nature of the question, but we must be clear on this issue. You are saying that your master had sexual relations with you in the presence of other beings?"
Chun swallows and tenses his jaw. "Yes, but he was trying to protect me."
"By raping you, with witnesses?" Mallix exclaims.
"No!" Chun replies, clenching the table with both hands. "It wasn't rape!"
"My boy, you were a child," Bahr says, "and he was an authority figure, your protector and guardian. "You can hardly be objective about him."
Chun gapes and his skin darkens in anger. "I have been raped ," he hisses. "Do not deign to tell me that what Jal did to me was the same as--"
"But it was, child," Mallix interrupts. "You were too young to understand the difference."
"Jal loved me," Bruck retorts, voice breaking now. "He was protecting me from something far worse. He gave his life for me!"
"So he had you convinced," Bahr sighs, shaking his head. "You have suffered a terrible ordeal, Padawan, and we do not blame you for believing innocent the one person who seemed to care about you, even as he was taking advantage of you."
"Seemed ?" Bruck repeats. He glances at Palpatine desperately.
"I believe we have required enough of this witness," Palpatine says, glancing pointedly at Mallix. "Perhaps we should adjourn until tomorrow?"
I can only stare at my hands as the hearing is adjourned for the day. Chun continues to protest, but no one hears him. I know I should be an advocate for him, but all I can think about is Ben.
I've heard of such things all my life, and I've always dismissed tales of Jedi depravity as bigotry and misunderstanding. But even I cannot ignore the fact that a padawan was put into this situation at the age of fourteen. And his master... This could easily have been someone I've met, someone I've gotten to know -- and probably has been hundreds of others. I know Ben thinks I don't understand, but there are things he doesn't understand as well.
I'm lost in thought as I wait for the lift that will take me to the offices above. There's something that's been spinning through my mind since my argument with Ben last night, something I've been considering.
The lift doors slide open and I nearly run into Padawan Chun as he gets off. I stammer an apology, and then I freeze in my tracks at the face of the man behind him.
"Senator Organa," Aubris says, smiling at me in greeting. "How lovely to see you again."
I manage to nod, emotions roiling in my gut. I never expected to see Aubris Feln again. At a loss for words, I turn my attention to Chun. "How are you, Padawan Chun?"
Chun glares at me in response. "Shitty, no thanks to you."
"Padawan," Aubris chides, a hint of displeasure in his tone.
Chun's face falls. "I apologize, Senator. That was uncalled for."
"You've been through a horrible ordeal," I reply, trying to sound sympathetic, despite the intense dis-ease I feel. "It's quite understandable."
"May I be excused, Master?" Chun asks. Aubris squeezes his shoulder and nods.
"Senator," Chun says, bowing as he takes his leave. He disappears around a corner.
"You're his master?" I ask, before I can think to bite my tongue.
"Yes," Aubris says, turning back to me. "The poor boy was all but abandoned by the Order. I was the only one who took an interest in him at all." he raises an eyebrow. "Other than your committee, of course."
"You speak quite freely, for a Jedi," I reply.
Aubris ignores the bitterness in my tone, but his smile becomes a smirk. "I don't wear my politics as close to the vest as do most Jedi. I can assure you that had Bruck been my padawan two weeks ago, this hearing would never have taken place."
"Then you disapprove? Hardly surprising."
"The Order has made many grave errors, I agree," Aubris says, his voice lowering. "I also believe this committee could do some good, given the proper direction. I'd like to discuss it with you." He narrows his eyes. "In private, of course."
Under other circumstances, I would absolutely refuse, but I find myself strangely intrigued. "Come to my office at 20 hours," I tell him. "Senator Palpatine and I will be meeting. I'm sure he'd be most interested in hearing what you have to say."
Aubris's eyes narrow even more, and he steps closer to me. "Listen to me, Bail: you cannot trust Palpatine."
I pull away, almost laughing. "And what makes you think I would trust you ?"
Aubris's expression remains dark for a moment, and then is replaced with a Jedi mask of calm. "Nothing," he says. He turns and walks away, muttering, "Nothing at all."
I watch him walk away, feeling my disgust rise in my throat. This man is allowed to mentor someone as damaged as Bruck Chun? It could have been Ben, I remind myself. And who would have picked up the pieces, had he been the one to suffer what Chun did?
Instead of returning to my office, I stop outside the private chamber allocated to the Jedi. I don't care if anyone sees me -- I want to see Ben. I want to tell him how sorry I am, for everything. I want to hold him, to kiss him, and to make everything right between us. I can defy my father. I can reject my family's traditions. Padme is hardly enthusiastic about marrying me, anyway, and her ambition is far greater than mine. She'll become a senator; she won't need me to escape Naboo.
It would be a tremendous scandal, but things on Alderaan need to change, just as the Jedi Order needs to change. Ben and I could make a difference, together.
I pause at the door, peering through the window. I don't have access to this room, and I want to be sure Ben is actually here before I knock. No need to make it overly obvious that I'm looking for him.
I see several figures in the room, and it's a moment before I realize where Ben is: he's in his master's arms, apparently distraught. My throat constricts at the sight. This is all my fault. I should be there for him. I should never have agreed to be on this committee, and it should be me holding him, comforting him.
I raise my hand to knock, just as Ben raises his head. He looks up at Qui-Gon, and his expression is--
Qui-Gon cups Ben's face in his hands and kisses him. Really kisses him -- not a friendly kiss, but a lingering, almost passionate one. It's clear that Ben returns it.
I turn away from the door and lean back against the wall, reeling. There's only one conclusion I can draw, and I don't even want to think about it. After everything he said last night about me keeping things from him, he's...
The door slides open, and I duck around the corner. I don't want to see Ben now. I don't know what I would say, or how I should feel. I hear footsteps, and a muffled sound, and then, whispered: "Padawan, you'll be the death of me."
I sink against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut.