Authors: Emma Grant, Jedi Rita, Elocin Oco, and Ms Swift
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Senate investigation into the Gollin 3 mission begins....
Warnings: This episode describes acts of non-con and chan sex within the context of the hearing.
Disclaimer: Most of these characters belong to other people. Their creators probably wouldn't recognize our versions of them anyway...
Feedback: Sure!
Note: This is the finale to season 2, written by the entire QAJ team. Thanks to all for reading this season and to Helens for her contributions to the season.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4
(Obi)
Xan's gone. I should be ecstatic about it. He and Anakin left a few hours ago, not very long after hearing the results of the inquiry. After announcing that Plo Koon had been cleared of any wrong-doing, the committee accused Xan of acting inappropriately in his dealings with Jal, and of putting me and Siri at risk. Following the wishes of the Senate, the Council cut him loose. Expelled him. He left for Yavin with Anakin, off to join this new order of Dooku's. Qui's all mine. I'm lying here in our quarters, post coital haze upon me. Yet I'm not ecstatic. Qui's not quite here. His mind is clearly
somewhere else.
I move against him, pressing my buttocks into the curl of his lap as he lies. He doesn't respond to me. He just fucked me, but it's like I was just a trick. There was no feeling there. I prop myself up on my elbow and look down at him. He's staring up at the ceiling, and his eyes don't so much as flicker in my direction. "Qui?"
He looks at me, his eyes slowly coming into focus. "Obi."
"Oh good," I tease, "you do remember my name."
He arches an eyebrow, and a wry smile twists his lips. "I assure you, I could never forget it." He rolls out of bed, and jerks on his leggings, and runs a hand through his hair.
I sit up, frowning at his back. "I wasn't sure after that fuck. I could have been anyone."
He rounds on me, his cheeks flushing. "You will have to forgive me if I seem distracted. I've had a very bad day."
I get up with a sigh and wrap my arms around his waist. I was bothered, too. Hells, who wouldn't be? The Council is under fire, the entire Order is being questioned. But Qui has to understand there is a greater good to be served. He can't see past what happened to Xan. "Qui, I don't like it either. They were wrong to single out Xan. But he's done it, at least partially, to himself. If he had followed the Code..."
Qui snorts at that and pushes me away. "Padawan, the Code isn't the issue. The problem is in interpretation, and the weak-willed individuals that are representing us. You of all people should appreciate what an undercover operative has to endure."
"Did I say anything--"
"Yes," he interrupts, "you did. Xan was expelled to make an example of him. He was sacrificed publicly in order to save a member of the Council, so that the Order could save face with the Senate. Where is the line in the Code to support that?"
"Xan broke the rules," I say stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You did, too. You broke Xan's rules and jeopardized the entire mission."
I snort at that. "You believe that? After all the public humiliation that I've had to face, you honestly think that I'm the one that should have been on the block today?"
He shakes his head. "There was no reason for the investigation. Someone in the Senate was looking for a reason to ruin the Jedi, this was just the first convenient opportunity. The Council should have seen that. Others did."
I roll my eyes. "Others? Like who? Aubris Feln?"
Qui's eyes are burning. "Dooku can link Bahr, Mallix and Zaricch to the Sith. He has evidence, Obi-Wan, and there's more. Apparently someone has deleted files related to these senators, as well as Senator Palpatine, from the Archives."
I can only gape at him in shock. This can't be true. Somehow I find my voice. "And what makes you think that you can believe him?"
He looks at me, and I feel like the village halfwit. "What happened today is all I need to convince me."
I shrug. "I don't like what happened today any more than you do. But I trust the Council to do what was necessary to preserve the Order. Bruck opened his mouth when he shouldn't have, and that allowed the Senate to get involved."
He throws his hands up. "Are you really my apprentice?"
"I don't know. Would a Jedi Master speak against the Order he serves?"
"Yes, if the Force wills it. I've been thinking that perhaps it's best if we follow Xan. I can't in good conscience follow the will of a group that would do what I witnessed today." He grabs my arms, his hands tightening. "Didn't part of you feel betrayed today?
Didn't it make you ashamed to be called Jedi, when you saw that pretense of justice?"
I shake my head. "No. I don't feel ashamed. I feel proud that we are guardians of the galaxy. I don't like everything that happens, but ultimately, I believe the words of the Code. I can't pick and choose based on the plight of someone I love. If you want to go to Xan, you'll leave me behind. You made a promise to me, Master. What of duty?"
His hands slide down my arms and he takes my hand. "I want you to go with me. We will still be Jedi." He pauses a moment, watching his thumb trace over the back of my hand. "You would be free to love Bail Organa."
My breath catches in my throat. I'm free to love him now, aren't I?" My eyes search his face for some hint that this is all a joke, but there is nothing. I shake my head. "Bribing me with Bail won't be enough to get me to agree to this crazy scheme of yours." I wrap my arms around him, and his back muscles tense beneath my fingers. I move against him and slip my hand inside his leggings, stroking the soft skin over the cleft of his ass. "You would leave me and the Order, on the words of a crazy old man and your arrogant lover?" I drop a kiss on his shoulder and he flinches away. His hands tighten on my arms, and he pulls them from around his body.
"Go. I need to think, not fuck."
"I wasn't aware that the two were mutually exclusive," I hiss between clenched teeth. Fine. Let him meditate on it. He will see reason soon enough. He's just upset. I glance over my shoulder, and he's already on his knees.
I'm standing on the street, staring up at the balconies above, counting swiftly to find Bail's. It's the balcony where T'nell's shirt sailed off into the Coruscant night, the balcony where I said an uncertain future didn't matter. Where I said I loved him. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it won't budge.
I know I have to speak with Bail and try to clear the air. I don't want there to be things between us anymore. My uncertainty and upset over Qui makes this even more necessary. I need to know where things stand with Bail. I'm trying not to be bitter, trying not to think about the times he could have told me about Errie – rather, Padme, and didn't. I go into his building and the doorman gives me a cursory nod. He knows me, and signals me up. Once I'm at Bail's door, I waver again. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. Not after what happened with Qui. I reach out for the door and jump back in surprise when it opens for me.
"You know, when we're married I'm going to have to have servant droids follow you around and pick up after you. I refuse to live…" Bail trails off when he turns, almost running into me. A flash of panic crosses his face, so quickly that I'm not sure I didn't
imagine it.
"Bail, Padme," I say softly. "I'm sorry, I was just stopping by to… never mind. You're on your way out," I fumble around and mentally kick myself. For someone who has been trained as a diplomat I have a deplorable lack of words.
Padme smiles at me. "Oh, it's all right, Padawan Kenobi. I was just leaving. He's all yours for the evening. Damned lucky for him, I'd say," she giggles.
She's off down the hall and Bail is just standing there, staring at me. I shift uncomfortably and brush past him into his apartment. "Maybe you should have a revolving door installed in your apartment."
He steps inside, and the door hisses closed behind him. "I hear they are standard issue at the Temple ."
I glare at him, surprised at the spikiness of his mood towards me. He knows what a week I've had. "Well," I say evenly, "we aren't the hypocrites that make arranged marriages only to fuck around behind the staid image."
"Oh, no, but you do fuck around." Bail swipes his glass off the table and pours himself a drink. "Sometimes, even with your master."
I cross my arms over my chest, taken aback by his bluntness "So? You knew Qui and I had sex." I watch as horror spreads across his face. Perhaps he didn't.
"I most certainly did not know you and your master had sex," he confirms. "How can you be so flippant about that?" Bail shakes his head, like he's amazed.
I frown. "Hells, you've been at Rising. Everyone knows that Qui and I have sex. It's never been a secret." I move a step closer, deepening my frown. "Unlike your impending marriage."
He slams his glass on the table. "Well, if I should have realized about Qui, then I would expect you to realize that, as an Alderaani, I would have an arranged marriage." He softens his voice and reaches for my hand. "Ben, I've told you how traditional my family is, how concerned--"
"Oh, yes, I've heard all about your father," I say, staring at our joined hands. "The Jedi-hating, politician-loving man who represses his son. A son who is a Junior Senator and needs to find the balls to become his own man." I pull away from him and stride to the open balcony window. Tonight is not going well for me at all. I shouldn't have come here right now. The tension of the hearing and my worries over Qui are affecting my mood.
He follows me. I know my words have hurt, but he's trying to calm the situation, keep the conversation measured. "Don't you see, that's exactly what I'm trying to do: build a career for myself, so I'm not counting on my family's name or my father's good will."
I turn to face him, a bitter smile twisting my lips. "Force forbid your relationship with me should get in the way of your career."
"Did you come over here looking for a fight?"
"No. Actually, I came over to sort this out. The fight is just a bonus." I mentally berate myself. I'm just so angry that I seem to be the only person who didn't know about Padme. That he couldn't tell me that.
"Why don't you start by telling me how long you've been fucking your master?"
I sigh and lean against the balcony railing. I'm not sure why he's so hung up on my sleeping with Qui. The information is hardly marked confidential. "I've been having sex with Qui since I was seventeen."
"So the committee was right. It is common for masters to sexually abuse their padawans."
"Certainly not!" I say, shaking my head in amazement at his interpretation of this. "It's not abuse. I seduced him . And that fucking committee was a mockery. They set out to make fools of the Jedi. It was bad enough that you sat up there and did precious little to stop it, but now you agree with them? I thought you understood us."
"Ben! What did you expect me to do? I'm on a committee, and I happen to have the least power of anyone up there! And maybe I don't understand this. You've been in some kind of relationship with Qui all this time, and you're trying to tell me he means nothing to you? Hells, at least I don't love Padme!"
I turn and lean out over the balcony, scanning the horizon until my eyes alight on the highest tower of the Temple , just visible between the buildings, far in the distance. "I'm not allowed to love anyone, remember? Certainly not Qui." Suddenly I realize I'm confused. I thought this was love, yet we've both lied; neither of us has been entirely honest. I shiver slightly in the chill air. Everything seems to be spinning out of control, and I'm losing grip on my life. I turn to face Bail again. I have to try and control this. "Whatever I have with Qui has nothing to do with what is between you and me."
"What exactly is that, Ben? Because I don't fucking know anymore."
I sigh again. He's as out of control as I am. That mission, this hearing, they've changed everything. I rue the day I ever accepted Xan's offer. I rub angrily at my eyes. It all changed in that cell. That's when I lost control. Bail's still talking, but I'm hardly hearing him now.
"You sleep with whomever you please, and you get upset that I'm engaged. Honestly, did you think we would end up married someday?"
I hear that. Loud and clear.
My voice begins to rise a little now, and there's a sickening feeling of inevitability growing in the pit of my stomach. "I don't know what I was expecting other than you would fight for me, love me. Be loyal to me. I don't care who you fuck, as long as inside,
you care about me more. But lately, you dance for whoever pulls your strings."
"And you don't? Your master, the Order -- you have obligations as well. You have a duty that will put you in opposition to me. And isn't Qui-Gon Jinn pulling your strings? Isn't he the reason you bolt home early every time you stay over?"
"He's my master, Bail."
"He's your lover."
"Padme will be yours, even if this is only to build your precious career."
"It's not the same thing!"
"It certainly isn't. I'm not getting married." Shit. I don't want to fight with him. I came here to clear the air. All I'm getting is more upset. I'm torn now. "Qui needs me now, more than ever," I explain. "After what the committee did to Xan, he's a mess. Don't
expect me to abandon him, just because you're being insecure. I'm his Padawan, and that word has connotations that a senator will never understand."
"And one of those connotations is that he owns part of your life, just as my father owns part of mine."
"But I fought Qui and the Order to be with you!" I cry in frustration. "You never risked a damned thing. I'm shoved in a closet as far as your career is concerned, and I always will be. Maybe I don't want to hide for the rest of my fucking life."
"Maybe you shouldn't."
That stops me cold. I didn't come here for this. I don't know what I came here for exactly, but it wasn't to lose Bail. But it becomes crystal clear in this moment: part of me had lost him long ago. Long before it ever began. All those warnings, and I didn't listen to a damned thing. Qui knew this would happen. He tried his best. The bile rises in my throat at the thought of what I almost lost, from the inquest over Aubris Feln, and the investigations that followed. And Bail didn't even care enough to challenge his own precious traditions.
"Maybe I should just leave," I say finally.
I watch as the shock settles over him, like fog settling over a fire. "Ben…I didn't mean…"
I stop him with a shake of my head. "Yes, you did mean it. And so did I." I can't keep the bitterness from my voice. "We both know that now is the time. You don't need to have the Force to know it. It's not enough for either of us. So cut your losses, Senator. I'm
cutting mine." My heart is pounding so loud I know he can hear it.
My eyes scan his face, one last time, remembering the moment I saw him in Rising for the first time, the thrill of coming to this place with him, of being with him and feeling something . All those sweet, delicious, funny moments racing through me, so fast I feel my stomach start to churn. And now, I can add the memory of his face when I told him goodbye.
By the time I reach the Temple , my heart has stuttered and fallen into the pit of my stomach. I don't want to go home to Qui. I close my eyes and lean against the wall, sliding down until I'm squatting in the hallway. Leaving Bail was the right thing, but it hurts. I don't want to go to Qui like this, but I need to be with someone. I want to sleep and not think. I need to crash. It comes to me then; I know the perfect place to go.
I make my way to T'nell's quarters, wondering if it's too late to ring the bell, if I should comm ahead. I stand indecisively in the hallway, and finally palm the chime. In a minute Master Faelin is smiling at me. "Obi-Wan, come in."
"I hope I'm not disturbing you --"
"Nonsense. Come in. T'nell is in his room." She looks at me appraisingly. "How is Qui-Gon? These proceedings have been very difficult for him."
I nod. "Of course, they have been difficult for all of us."
"Yes, but for him this has become a crisis of faith. What trust he had in the Council is badly shaken. It will be very difficult for him to keep his faith in such an Order." She is staring at me intently. "More will be tempted to leave after what happened today."
I nod. "Yes, but not me."
Her smile is warm, and I find myself smiling back at her. "I'm glad to see that despite everything that's happened, you find the strength to remain here. Qui should realize what a credit you are to his training." She kisses my cheek and motions me to T'nell's room.
He is sprawled across his bed, reading, clad only in his undershorts.
"Is that an invitation?" I ask, grinning.
He snorts and drops the datapad onto the table. "For you? Always."
I fall in bed beside him, and he rolls to his side to look at me. "What's up?" he asks brightly.
"I just had it out with Bail."
He frowns at that. "What do you mean, had it out with Bail?"
"It means you won't be having a threesome with him anytime soon."
He whacks me with the pillow. "Get the fuck out of here! You and Bail split?"
I nod. "And Qui and I …we had words." I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. "After what's happened with Xan, he's thinking of leaving the Order permanently."
"What?" T'nell yelps, sitting up. "He can't leave! You can't leave! Where would you go?"
I hunch my shoulders. "With Xan. To this new temple on Yavin, I suppose. But I'm not leaving, T'nell. I can't. This is my home. This is where I belong."
T'nell nods, his eyes filled with sympathy. "It's where we all belong. Separating from the Order isn't going to fix anything. It feels wrong that they sent Xan away, but I don't see that they had any choice. Things were so out of control by then, it's lucky that the Senate didn't demand that funding be cut to the Temple immediately."
I look up at T'nell, and for a moment I see what Qui must have looked like as a young man, before the broken nose, and the age lines. "Do you think Master Koon was really doing any of what they accused?"
"Of course not!" T'nell exclaimed. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
"It's easy to say that when there aren't incriminating tapes of you floating around." Oh, I'm really feeling sorry for myself now. But T'nell knows me as well as anyone, better than most.
His hand caresses my chest. "Those tapes don't matter to anyone in the Order. It was part of a mission. And people have seen as bad, if not worse, in the back rooms at Rising. Master Koon could go down there and watch until his goggles fogged up. Why would he need to watch Bruck shag your sorry ass?"
I laugh. He makes it seem so sensible. "I don't know." I guide his hand down to my crotch, and he grins. "But I do know why I came here."
"Long night, flyboy?" he teases.
I only nod and shift restlessly beneath his hand. I sit up long enough to pull my shirt over my head and lie down again. He moves astride me and kisses me, slowly licking my lips, over my teeth and sliding along my tongue.
I'm all but whimpering by the time he reaches my belly, his tongue plunging into my belly button, fucking it. His hands are undoing my pants the whole time, and when I arch against him, he slides them over my hips and tugs them off. He's back in seconds, his mouth closing over the head of my cock, his tongue swirling around the slit. Gods, when he does that I can't think anymore. He takes more of my cock into his mouth until it nudges the back of his throat. As he slides back, the point of his tongue flicks over all the
sensitive places, before plunging down, taking me deep into his mouth again. There's a lot to be said for fuck buddies. I moan as he pulls away, and I open my eyes to his wide grin.
"What?"
He shakes his head and dips down again to lick the base of my cock, sucking lightly on my testicles, before he flicks his tongue across my perineum. Gods. I can't think as the flat of his tongue laps over my hole. I curl my legs against my chest, opening to him in
encouragement. He laughs softly as I moan, but his tongue traces my opening, the point teasing, forcing its way in, before pulling out to lave over me once more. I can't think, can't breathe, when he does this. I don't know how long he stays there, spearing me with
his tongue, but when he pulls away I'm panting, almost ready to come, just from him doing that. He licks at the trails of precome that are on my belly as he reaches for a barrier.
"Gods, T'nell, hurry," I urge.
He just giggles as he rolls the barrier on. "You're really desperate aren't you?"
I nod and take my cock in my hand, stroking it. He moves his hands under my ass, raising my hips to enter me while he's still on his knees. He pushes into me hard, stopping for a moment when he's in deep. His hands slide over my hips and up my legs, stroking them
lovingly before grasping them and splaying them as he starts to move in me. He's hitting my prostate at each thrust, and I'm not going to last long like this. And from the look on his face, neither is he. I grasp my cock and jerk it a couple of times, and that's all it takes before I'm coming, spattering against my stomach.
T'nell grunts as he thrusts into me hard a few more times, his fingers biting into my legs as he comes, his body bowed. He pulls out of me, easing my legs down, and licks the come off my belly on his way to kiss me. I moan as I taste myself on his tongue. He
laughs into my mouth, and I break the kiss. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing. I just feel like laughing. I'm entitled, aren't I?"
I force a smile. It's easier to be happy when you're fucking. But invariably people want to talk afterwards. "I suppose. Though there are some who would say there's nothing to laugh about anymore." My voice catches and comes out a bit too thin. I turn and face the
wall. I want to sleep, to forget. Fucking hells.
T'nell shifts, and he spoons behind me, wrapping an arm protectively around me. He understands. "There is always something to laugh about, Obi. There is always something to keep you going. Things will work out somehow. They always do."
I keep thinking about Qui, and that look in his eyes. He wants to leave. I feel the longing in him to follow Xan. I always thought he loved me more than anything. Maybe at one point he did. I always worried that he loved me in a way I couldn't love him. But the thought of losing him makes it clear: I've loved him all along. Tomorrow, I promise myself. Tomorrow, I will show him that I can be enough. Tomorrow I will give him a reason to stay.
Qui's not there when I return to quarters, and I wonder where he's gone so early. I don't dwell on it, as I am late for class. I spent too much time in T'nell's bed. I honestly don't see how T'nell makes it anywhere on time. But my time with him has buoyed me. I still
feel the nagging in the back of my head that says Bail is gone, but I can't concentrate on that now. I have to concentrate on Qui. I know he needs me.
When I return in the afternoon, there are two bags by the door. "Kicking me out?" I ask. I know it is the wrong thing to say, but they're the only words that come to me. I never actually thought he would leave.
He just shakes his head. "Come with me. Please."
Part of me wants to pretend I don't understand; the childish part wants to hide from this, but I can't. "You know I can't do that. That I won't follow you on some damned fool crusade. I've worked too hard to get to where I am to throw it all away."
He crosses the room to stand in front of me, his eyes burning with a hope, a fire I've rarely seen in him before. "You won't be throwing away anything, Obi-Wan. You will still be a Jedi, but you won't be trapped in this horrible situation. The Sith are gaining influence." He places his hands on my shoulders, and his tone has become pleading. "I am asking you to come with me before it's too late. We can still make a difference
"How? By dividing the Order? That's what the Sith want, if what you believe is true. They want us to squabble amongst ourselves and splinter off. Divide and conquer. It's one of the first rules of engagement. You taught me that."
He takes my hands in his. "I also taught you that you must follow the will of the Force. And this is the right path. Please come with me."
"I can't. Don't you see? I don't think it is right." I pull a hand free and stroke over his jaw, smoothing his beard. "I'm asking you to stay with me."
He closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them they are almost black and filled with remorse. "I'm sorry, I can't. There is no place for me here anymore."
I pull away, wrapping my arms around myself. "How could you do this? I thought you loved me."
There are tears in his eye when he answers. "I did. I do. But this is too important. This is about more than my feelings for you."
I blink back the tears that are forming. "It doesn't have to be. Qui, listen. We can fix this. But we have to follow the rules. If I've learned anything, it's that there is always wiggle room. We can start--"
"You won't be cast out because I leave. Yoda has agreed to take over your training. It won't be long until you're ready for your knighting." He picks up his bags and shoulders them. "I'm proud to have had a hand in your training, Obi-Wan Kenobi." He pauses, looking at me. "I love you. You will always have a place at my side, if you wish it."
I can't look at him anymore. My throat aches with the tears, and I don't want him to see me cry. He kisses me then, softly, and it finally sinks in. He's leaving. He's really leaving me. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him close, clinging to him as though he's all I have left to keep me breathing. I give him everything I've ever held back in that kiss, hoping he will stay. He reaches up and loosens my arms from around his neck, and he steps away. "May the Force be with you, Padawan Kenobi."
The door hisses shut behind him, and I realize that I'm gasping. He left me. The tears fall now, but there's no one left to see them.
A thin red beam slashes across my chest and I smile at the play of color. Oh, the glitter gel was a nice touch. I slink into Rising, and the crowd parts before me, just like it always has. The silver shimmersilk shirt flutters as I walk, and I know I look good. There is no doubt, and I've got offers before I move even a meter forward.
I want to lose myself in this place, as I haven't in far too long. I am absorbed by the crowd as I absorb the music, the lights. I dance until I'm mindless and lost, writhing against whomever is closest, taking whatever they offer. Fuck Qui-Gon Jinn and Xanatos. Fuck Bail Organa and his slut. I don't need any of it.
Arms snake around me from behind, and I sink back against T'nell, as we move together. "Are you all right?" he whispers in my ear.
I laugh, almost euphoric from intoxicants. "Not yet. But I will be, just as soon as I take Mr. Tall-Dark-And-Fuck Me to the back. I nod towards the man in question. I catch his eye, and he turns towards me as I move away from T'nell.
"Obi," T'nell says, catching my arm, turning me to face him. "I meant are you okay ?
I jerk my arm out of his grasp, and flash him my best and brightest smile. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi."
FIN
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